Archive for March, 2010
Top 5 Reasons Sandra Bullock Shouldn’t Have Dated/Married Jesse James In The First Place
These are from Comedian Cecily Knobler, author of She’s Crazy, He’s a Liar – Now What? Okay, as Woody Allen (and many others) eloquently stated, “The heart wants what it wants.” And as someone who has dated/loved wake-n-bakers and doll collectors, I realize I’m throwing stones in a glass house by pointing out that Sandra shouldn’t have ever fallen for this guy. But couldn’t most of us have seen this coming?! Let’s take a look at some of the signs: 1) His parents actually named him Jesse James, just like the notorious bank robber! That’s like meeting someone named Benedict Arnold and then being surprised that he betrayed you. Or worse…”Hey, I just got set up with some guy. He goes by something, something Hitler? I wonder if he’s cool?” 2) Married a porn star! Uh, it’s not like Sandra could just say, “Oh my husband hooked up with a porn star once.” She has to instead say “My husband hooked up with a porn star and then he married her. And obviously had unprotected sex with her at least once because they have a child.” What a prince! 3) He uses hair gel even though he hardly has any hair. I understand that we shouldn’t judge someone based on their looks, but when you’re Sandra Bullock and you like the “bad boys”, why not get with a bad boy who doesn’t look like a cross between Mr. Potato Head and Verne Troyer? 4) Donald Trump fired him. Alright, I realize this happened after she was married to him, but still he’s a tool and he refused to ask his rich wife for help on “The Celebrity Apprentice”, even though he was supposedly there to raise money for charity. To be fair, according to Wikipedia he did raise 20 grand for the Long Beach Education Foundation, so that’s good. But this was after they were married and she couldn’t have known this would happen. (Wikipedia also says he’s a chump. Okay, no…but I did try to add that to Wikipedia and they said “No.”) 5) He has one tattoo (among many) of an octopus eating a crab and another which allegedly says “Pay up Sucka” I don’t know about you, but when I think “good man”, I don’t imagine crustaceans and threatening messages about money inked on their very squatty bodies. In conclusion, I wish for two things with regard to this mess: 1) That Sandra up and leaves him for good and finds herself a great guy. 2) That Wikipedia finally accepts my “chump” addition to the Jesse James page.
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Dear Josey, Where can I meet women, especially twins?
Dear Toronto Strip Club, I am a man in my early 30s who has trouble finding women. Is there more than one place to find women – i.e.: relationship counselor’s offices, singles bars, at work? And if at work, how does one politely ask a woman out on a date, without being too forward, and appearing awkward? Also, I have had fantasies about dating identical twins or even Siamese twins — where would an eligible bachelor such as myself find twins to date? Want to Date Doubles Dear WTDD, Relationship counselor’s offices. Of course! Now why didn’t I ever think of that when I’ve been asked for advice from readers on where to meet people? You’ve got them in a small, quiet intimate room, things are obviously crap with their current partner so they’d likely be open to meeting someone new and they’re emotionally vulnerable making them an easy target for attention. Perfect. I’m not sure where you got the idea that you could meet people in a relationship counselor’s office and not to nit-pick but this, along with the singles bars and at work options you mention do actually constitute more than one place to meet women. Though, as regular readers know, I do often discourage the work relationship just because it can get ugly if things don’t work out and you have to keep working together. But I don’t rule it out if simply because so many of us spend so much time at work with people who you already have something in common with, it seems unfair to remove the option completely. You just have to be aware of and be able to handle the consequences and be discreet (no groping in each other’s cubicles). As for the approach, keep it casual. Invite someone for drinks after work or to a movie. And as for how to do it politely, well I can only hope your mama taught you how to do that. Safe to say, it shouldn’t involve any lewd gestures or tongue action. As for dating twins, Siamese or otherwise, what say we get you started by meeting one woman first, because if you can’t manage that, whatever are you going to do with two of them?
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Motorbikes and Breast Cancer
What do motorcycles have to do with breast cancer, you ask? On May 11, Harley Davidson is sponsoring the second annual Precious Metal Gala to raise funds for Rethink Breast Cancer. The women-only “Garage Party” combines entertainment with an innovative and interactive way to learn about motorcycling. The ultimate girls’ night out will see an all-female guest list walk the pink carpet, including CEOs, tastemakers and talent. Billie Holiday, morning host at Virgin Radio, will emcee the event and welcome ladies as they enter the venue. This decadent Biker Chic-themed party will include hair and makeup stations to prepare babes for an action-style biker photo shoot on a new 2010 Harley-Davidson, a chance to browse the Precious Closet featuring the new Harley-Davidson Pink Label collection, the opportunity to learn about how to get a motorcycle licence, and the very popular motorcycle lift, where women learn the technique of effortlessly picking up a bike from the ground. All of this, plus a silent auction, tasty hors d’œuvres and drinks, will help to achieve the Deeley Harley-Davidson Canada goal of raising $15,000 for Rethink Breast Cancer. “Our inspiration for this campaign is to show women they can do anything they set their minds to. Riding a Harley motorcycle is an exhilarating activity that makes women feel strong, confident and excited,” said Don James, chairman and chief executive officer of Deeley Harley-Davidson Canada. “Through the Precious Metal Gala, we are supporting our mothers, daughters, sisters and friends who are fighting breast cancer, as well as introducing women to motorcycling – it’s the perfect combination, as each involves people with great strength and spirit.” Women, start your engines! The Precious Metal Gala takes place at the Fermenting Cellar in the Distillery District on Tuesday, May 11 from 6:30 to 10:30 p.m. Tickets went on sale March 15 th for $75. For more details, go to http://www.garageparty.ca . For into about Rethink Breast Cancer, go to http://wwwrethinkbreastcancer.com
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Dear Josey, I told him I love him but I don’t…
Dear Toronto Strip Club, Well, I did it: I told my boyfriend of five-and-a-half months that I love him. The problem? I only said it because he said it first and I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. I do like him a lot, but what the heck do I do now? Spoke Too Soon Dear Spoke, Doh! Now you know why your mother nagged at you to think before you speak. But I understand how it can happen. There is probably nothing worse than the feeling of telling someone you love them, only to be met with a “deer caught in the headlights” stare. So, put on the spot like that, you take the easy route and say what the other person wants to hear. But now what, right? Well, you could simply not say anything and hope that you eventually do love him. But that’s a risky one. It’s a bit like faking orgasms. The longer you wait to tell him the truth, the harder it will be and the more it will hurt him when you do. So as hard as it might be, you should say something. Of course, how do you bring it up? “Um, you know I told you the other night that I loved you, well, I lied.” Not exactly the best conversation starter. You could wait until he says it again except next time, when he says it, simply look at him and say, “You know what, honey, I really love that you feel so strongly about me and I really like you a lot too, but I don’t want to spoil a really great thing by moving too fast and it still feels too early to know whether this wonderful thing between us is love.” If you want to reassure him further, you can add that you are clearly are moving in that direction, but that you’re not comfortable using those words yet. If he asks why you told him you loved him, gently tell him that you felt put on the spot and didn’t want to hurt his feelings. Given you’ve only been going out five months, I think it’s perfectly reasonable to not know whether you love someone. If he doesn’t agree, well, you’re probably it’s probably good to find out.
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Single Seniors, Lying Daters and A New Online Guide For Couples
With about 85 million baby boomers in North America and approximately 30 percent of them single, there’s a lot of prime-age dating going on. To help them out, SeniorPeopleMeet.com, a popular online dating site for seniors has just launched SeniorPeopleMeet.com Magazine . Why do single seniors need their own dating magazine? “Today’s senior singles may hope to meet someone special to share favorite activities like golf or tennis, as a travel companion or even as a new romantic partner or spouse,” says Ron Worthy, Vice President, People Media, the company behind the site and magazine. “We recognized the need to provide informative and entertaining content tailored specifically to these varied goals and motivations, and SeniorPeopleMeet.com Magazine has been crafted to do just that.” *** Single seniors aren’t the only ones getting a new online magazine devoted entirely to them. Twodaymag.com is a new online magazine for couples. Rather than gearing content toward men or women specifically, twodaymag.com offers content that couples can read together including interesting articles on topics such as how to balance the financial power in a relationship, how to plan an inexpensive date and how to keep a relationship fresh. *** Turns out online daters lie just as much as people who meet face-to-face according to new research out of the University of Kansas . Jeffrey Hall, assistant professor of communication studies at the University, surveyed more than 5,000 participants from a national Internet matchmaking service to determine what kinds of people are most likely to lie during the online dating process. He asked them how likely they were to lie about topics such as assets, relationship goals, personal interests, personal attributes, past relationships, age and weight. Those most likely to lie during online dating experiences are “high self-monitors” — people who have an acute sense of what people like and control their behavior to achieve social ends. Their actions are not necessarily manipulative, Hall said, but rather reflect a desire to be liked and to fit in. Hall’s research was published in the February issue of the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships. The journal also produced a podcast with Hall, In the study, men admitted to lying more overall, but women were most likely to lie about their weight. Because online daters hope to meet face-to-face eventually, the amount of lying is quite small, Hall said. “Online daters shouldn’t be concerned that most people are presenting a false impression of themselves,” Hall said. “What influences face-to-face dating influences the online world, too.”
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Dear Josey, My friend lost weight and now her guy acts weird with her ….
Dear Toronto Strip Club, My friend is having a problem with her boyfriend. They’ve been together for about three years and living together for the past seven or eight months. She had put on weight over this time and was unhappy with her appearance, so she recently started going to the gym. She looks better and healthier now, and comes across as way more confident. But her boyfriend doesn’t like the “new” her, and gets all p.o.’d and weird whenever my friend leaves the house. What’s going on here? What can she do to get things back on track? A Friend In Need Dear Friend, It’s amazing how much time we spend in relationships hoping the other person will change in one way or another. We nag them and battle over each other’s shortcomings (which of course are often the things that attracted us to him or her in the first place). Then, when someone actually does change, we freak because we realize that actually there was a comfort in knowing the other person was “flawed” and you got used to the dynamic of constantly nagging him or her to change. Also when one person changes in a relationship, it forces the other person to change as well, both in the way that person relates to him or herself and how you relate to each other, which affects how the relationship functions. Add to this the fact that when one person improves himself or herself in a relationship it can be scary because the other person is afraid they’ll get left behind. I could give the guy the benefit of the doubt and say that maybe he genuinely liked his gal with a little meat on the bones but the fact that he gets pissed when she goes out tells me that’s not likely the case. The fact that this guy can’t feel good for his girlfriend’s new found confidence tells me he’s intimidated and scared by it and is insecure that she will leave him and is taking his insecurity out on her. Keeping a person down and making them feel unworthy for someone else is a way of keeping them by your side. And it’s abusive. It’s a non-verbal way of saying, “you’re lucky I’ll have you because no one else will cause you’re worthless.” Of course, bottom line is it’s not your problem. You can talk to your girlfriend about it and see if she’s noticed his behaviour and ask her whether it bothers her. But ultimately it’s up to her to decide that if her guy can’t handle it, she’s got to use her new found confidence and get the heck out.
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